Why fear should no longer be an option for you

Diana von Furstenberg, one of my favourite designers, says she owes her success to the fact that her mother taught her a philosophy of life that can be summed up as "fear is not an option".

I love that, don't you? Her mother was a holocaust survivor so these are no idle words. But what if your mother (aka father, friend, teacher..) subscribed to a different philosophy; say, one that whispered "fear everything"? Without even realising it, you are being held back by the general worldview within which you were raised.

Life-changer 2 in my book instructs us to learn to do something new - but fear will say otherwise. Who are you going to believe?

If you allow it to, fear will keep you going precisely nowhere. I believe that all adults should challenge themselves to learn to do something new at least once a year (for all the reasons I've written about in my book Change Your Life This Year). But mindsets like I'm Not Good At (that I wrote about in my previous post) .. and Fear will prevent that.

Here are my 4 top reasons why fear should no longer be an option for you

1.  Fear is from the Devil!

I know many people think sugar is from the Devil! (and maybe it is) but there's not even a question that fear is. The Bible says "God has not given us a spirit of fear" (2 Timothy 1:7).  So if God didn't give you a spirit of fear then its an alien and evil presence. For that reason alone, you should kick fear right out of your life.

2.  Fear is a liar

Have you noticed that its the fear of something rather than the thing itself that is the most frightening? In other words, fear is more scary than the thing you fear. It's about time we stop falling for that one. Fear is a liar, don't believe a word it says.

3.  Fear is a dream-slayer

Fear loves to tell you what could go wrong and adores painting a picture of all the things that will almost certainly never happen. In this way fear persuades you to give up before you've even started. How dare it?!

4.  Fear is a dictator

Fear wants to be your boss and tell you what you can and can't do. And excuse me? I'm the boss of my life..and so are you the boss of yours. So why don't you tell fear what to do for a change.

I'll be returning from the UK soon with loads of video material to edit and upload, so look out for that on this blog and my YouTube channel. And do please let us know, by leaving a comment, what new thing you are going to learn to do this year.

ARE YOU HOLDING YOURSELF BACK FROM ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS?

If you want to change your life this year, you're going to have to take a harder, deeper look at some of the things that could be hindering you; mindsets or belief systems that you don't even question. And if you realise that life-changer 2, Learn To Do Something New, is valuable and you're excited about implementing it; then you're DEFINITELY going to have to question your current beliefs..about yourself. Are you ready to do that? Good, we'll jump straight into it with this humdinger

I'M NOT GOOD AT..

Let me use myself as an example. I had no idea that the I'M NOT GOOD AT..belief system was holding me back from achieving my dreams.  It was a mindset I never questioned. In fact, I prided myself on being an advocate of the Pareto Principle. The Pareto Principle, aka the 80-20 rule, states that for many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the cause. So, in business, 80% of your sales come from 20% of your customers.  According to this principle, only 20% of the stuff you do really matters so it makes sense that you only do that 20% that produces 80% of your results. Simply put, focus on your strengths and don't bother about the stuff you're not good at. I was a firm believer in this principle. 

When I started writing Change Your Life This Year (book 1) I didn't have a blog, I didn't have a YouTube channel and I didn't have a dedicated Facebook page related to it. Why not? I believed that I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING TECHNICAL. The truth is, I'm not good at anything technical but for the first time ever, I questioned that statement. What do you mean when you say you're not good at anything technical? I asked myself. I mean it doesn't come naturally to me, its not easy for me to do anything technical, I don't instinctively understand technical I answered. And suddenly, it seemed like a lame excuse. Just because something doesn't come naturally or isn't easy for you to grasp, doesn't mean you shouldn't expend the effort to LEARN to do it. 

What do you believe you're NOT GOOD AT? Is there a good enough reason for you to LEARN how to do it anyway? In my case there was a very good reason. I wanted to support my book with a YouTube channel, a blog and a Facebook page and there was no-one else to do it. It has taken a lot of time and effort to learn this new skill but I can honestly say that I've had a lot of fun along the way and its given me confidence in other areas too.

Please don't allow this mindset of I'M NOT GOOD AT.. to go unquestioned or you could find you have no-one else to blame but yourself for the fact that your dreams are passing you by. What do you think? Is there something that jumping to mind immediately that you should question?

LUNCH WITH HUGO

I'm in Bristol, UK, at the moment and working hard on finishing my latest novel, Cape to Cabernet. But even in the UK, a writer deserves a lunch break. My hosts, Colleen and Richard Milton, took my husband and I on a particularly splendid lunch break recently. Our trip took in Castle Combe, where Dr Doolittle's house is, and Lacock, where the first photograph EVER was taken and where parts of Harry Potter were shot. We were in the good company of their Staffie, Hugo, who kept reminding us that lunch was, after all, the raison d'être of this outing.

HOW TO LEARN TO DO SOMETHING NEW

In my book Change Your Life This Year, I challenge you to Learn to Do Something New. I am on my way to the UK and trying to get everything done that needs doing before I can lock my front-door and head to the airport. So I apologise for having no video material of my own for you this month around this important topic. What I have done instead is to curate some really good video material for you to watch on this subject that I'll be linking you to here, every week. PLUS, I'll be bringing back some special video material from the UK for future months.  I'm kicking off with this Ted-x talk by Josh Kaufman because, although I cover a lot in Month 2 of the book - like WHY you should learn to do something new and what learning to do something new will do FOR YOU - I do not touch on HOW to learn to do something new. I think Mr Kaufman's 20 hours concept is incredibly practical and well-researched. What do you think?

SHABBAT SHALOM

I'm so enjoying the research for the novel I'm currently writing, Cape to Cabernet. Today I finished writing Chapter 24, in which my Israeli protagonist, Ganiet, gets to host a Friday night Shabbat meal for her goyim (Gentile) friends. It's high summer in South Africa when she plans the meal and I include all the delicious, light, yet distinctly Jewish, recipes in the book. But what cannot be adequately conveyed in a book is the Shabbat singing. One of the songs Ganiet teaches her friends is Shalom Aleichem. To give you a feel for what that Friday night might have sounded like I include two versions of Shalom Aleichem here. Which melody do you think Ganiet taught her friends? Which is your favourite?